Not-So-Normal Mom

Mom is doing much better. She's been home for a couple of weeks and is slowly getting better. I can't imagine what my life would be like without her. Through all of this, it has taught me to appreciate everyone in my life and have a little more tolerance for those that try my patience sometimes. It has also encouraged me to hold the people I love just a little tighter and longer. I have a great family. We may not be a big family, but we're a good one. So, I'm heading into the holidays thinking about my father in law that I lost, my mom that I was able to hold onto, and what the future holds for those that I love. It's a lot to think about! I'm looking forward to some rest. Just a couple more days until Christmas!!!!
Peace out,
Mom

My mom was in the ICU for about a week. She had internal bleeding, and a pulmonary embolism, among many other complications. This has been a very trying time for my family, and I am hoping that things are on the upswing. My mom is very young-only 52-and we were not prepared for such complications. I have been at the hospital every day, which is hard because they don't allow children. My husband has been wonderful and I don't know what I would have done had he not been here for me. I love my mom very much and I'm not prepared for her to not be in my life. My father in law passed away last month and my mom was on the verge just a week ago. I don't know if we can take anymore of this. It's amazing how your life can change in just a month.

My mom had surgery on Monday to remove a tumor from her ovaries. They took the ovaries, too. They were afraid that it was cancer, but the preliminary tests have come back negative. YEAH! She is still in the hospital, and I wish I could be there with her all day. They don't allow children, and it's hard for my husband to get away from work. I am there as much as possible, but I still wish I were there more. She was expected to be there until at least Thursday, but I think it looks like she'll be in there a bit longer. She doesn't do well with recovery. I don't do well with my mommy in the hospital.

I'm cleaning the house for our House Warming tomorrow night. Fun! I can't wait to have everyone over. We never have time to enjoy our friends (and each other, for that matter), but we decided it was time. We have to make time for these things, ya know? It's 75 degrees outside, and just lovely. San Diego is beutiful I'm so glad we live here!

I went with my middle son on a field trip Tuesday to Balboa Park in San Diego. It was pretty nice. We went to the Science Center and the Natural History Museum, but we were only allotted about an hour and a half at each museum. That wasn't enough time to really learn, you know? Not to mention, the teacher assumed that, because I am a mother of three boys, I would LOVE to be the chaperone of five boys. SUPER! Let me tell you, boys are a handful. AND, I had a wanderer in the group. We're all standing there, looking at an exhibit, and I do my little head count, and one is missing. Crap! "M***!" We wasted more time looking for M*** than looking at actual exhibits. I told the teacher that I will not go on any more field trips unless I get some girls in the group. Really, I have enough boy time at home.

"Better to beg than to steal, but better to work than to beg."
Nice.

My father-in-law passed away last week. My husband's father...My sons' grandfather. He was only 67. He was just here in August, when we went fishing, I caught the jackpot fish and his fish was small enough to be my fish's snack. I wish he would have caught the bigger fish, but maybe that made him respect me a little more. I went back with my husband for the funeral last weekend. Here's the sad story...
My husband went back the weekend before because I urged him to go. I told him that I felt like we just didn't know everything. Why was he so sick so fast? Why was he all of a sudden on oxygen at home, with a nurse? They weren't telling us everything. So, he went back to spend some time with his dad and see what was going on. He called me all hours of the night..."He's really sick. I'm scared, honey." He sent an email that read, "I'm worried about my daddy." So, I got worried, too. He came home on Sunday, and told me that he and his sister were going back in two weeks. That's when they were getting the test results, and they would know more. We worried, and waited.
Wednesday morning he got a call from the other sister. "The doctor just left. His vitals have dropped and they don't expect him to live longer than another day and a half". So, he got on the next plane, and so did his sister in Atlanta, and they flew back with hopes of being there with him when he passed. When he was packing, he broke down, and said, "I'm just not ready yet." While they were both in the air, I called back to their home in New Jersey to make sure that my brother in law was picking them up at the airport. "Dad passed away an hour ago." Oh my God!!! After I hung up, I sobbed...My husband was over the US, with the hope that he would get his last good-bye. My heart broke right then, and I booked my flight for the next morning.
The next three days was a blur of funeral arrangements, picking a plot at the cemetery, and looking one last time at the man who made my husband into the man that he is today. I can't even go into the horrific sadness that came over us. I looked at my husband and his family, my family, and my heart broke for them. My husband is just heartbroken, and just looking at him makes my heart ache. He's back there this weekend taking care of financial/paperwork stuff, and I am so lonely without him.
This has changed me...Affected me in a way that I didn't see coming. I'm worried. I look at my husband, and I'm worried. What would my life be without him? What would my sons' lives be without him? I look at my dad and I see the man that taught me how men are supposed to treat the women in their lives. He taught me what a husband and father is supposed to be. He taught me how to be strong and to be intelligent, and to look with wonder at the world. My mom taught me how to be a strong woman, and to find humor in the most dreary of days. She taught me to use my imagination and to teach my kids the power of play. I want a better relationship with my sister. I want to see my boys grow into strong, good men. I'm worried. What would my life be like without them? Logically, I know that the world hasn't changed, and when it's our time, it's our time...I just can't shake this feeling. I don't want anything bad to happen.
My husband's words are echoing in my head..."Not yet"...I'm ashamed for feeling this way. The grief is my husband's. I should get over it. When he's around, I wear a brave face, and I am the supporting wife, but inside, I'm just so worried. When he's away, I just want to shout at him to come home! I know it will get easier over time, but for now, it hurts. And I'm worried.

My dad bought a boat last week and has gone out on the water many times since. We were lucky enough to have some time to go out on Sunday, and we had a really great time! The boys loved it, and my dad was joyful sharing it with us. He had a grin on his face the whole time. I know he has always wanted a boat, so it was nice to see him so happy. It's amazing how different our beautiful city looks from the water ways. It could have been a Mediterranean city from the perspective we had! It was amazing. San Diego is such a beautiful place to live, and that beauty just continues out into the ocean around us. We had a great time and the boat is just so cool. I wasn't afraid of falling out at all, really. Not even when my dad let my middle son do donuts in the water. Nope. Not scared at all. Yeah, okay, maybe a little bit.

Today, I taught the first workshop of the semester on campus. I was very nervous because I was doing it on my own this year. It actually went very well. For those of you who are interested, it was on Run Ons and Comma Splices. Interesting, right? I think I did a pretty good job! Hopefully, when I teach the one on Thursday, it will go even smoother! And after that, I will have more free time. I may even get my Lit homework done early. I may even put those two dressers from IKEA together! The possibilities are limitless! I look forward to blogging more often, one day. I would like to find some extra time for myself and my family. Extra time. What does that even mean??? Spare time. Like it's just laying around and I can pick it up. I have my middle son's conference in an hour, and then I have my math class until 6. Maybe when I get home, I'll find some of that extra time on the floor. I'll be looking for it.
Peace out,
Mom

So, I have a new condo and I am oh-so-happy with it. It really is a lot of work to move into a new place, even though it's not far from the old one. College started back up last week, I'm still working nights at Mervyns, and I go back to work at the Writing Center on Tuesday. They've also asked me to teach the first workshop of the semester on Sep 11 and 13th. I really do have a full plate. I'm hoping things will calm down now any day. (yeah, right...) With all of that going on, My NH and I were still able to sneak away to the American Idol concert on Friday. It was soooo much fun!!! The performers that I knew would be really good were, and the others were just kind of there.

Mandisa was soulful and wonderful (she started the show). Really, she has a beautiful voice. I know during the show, it seemed like she was belting it out unnecessarily, but on stage, it sounded wonderful.

Then Ace came out and looked dreamy. He's not very good to listen to, but he sure is pretty to look at. (BTW, if I had to put money on it, I'd say that he's batting for the home team, if you know what I'm sayin' *wink, wink*)

Anyway...then it was Lisa followed by Paris. Lisa was kind of boring...She played the keyboard and sang Elton John.

Then Paris came out and I was kind of surprised. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't very good vocally, but that little mousy girl came out shaking her ass!!! She sang "Crazy"(Beyonce) and was doing her best Beyonce/Janet Jackson impression. She was all over the stage, and let me tell you...That girl loves her ass. She was putting her back to the crowd and popping her back and bouncing her booty all over the place, yo!! Still...Not very good.

Next up...Bucky. Boring. Really. And I like country!!! Then I heard a Grease song start, and I was like, what??!!???!!

Out came Kelly Pickler in jeans and a leather jacket with knee-high black boots. The girl is hot! They sang "You're the one that I want" together. It was cute, not great, but cute. They even did the down-the-stairs-moves-with-their-thumbs-hooked-in-their-belt-loops-strut. When Bucky went off stage, Kelly sang a few more songs, and she was all right.

Then....Du-duh-du-du...*Fanfare**glitter*(not really but I was feeling dreamy eyed;-)
Chris...God he's good. And hot. He was really fantastic. All rocker sexy and shizz. He announced his new album and upcoming tour. Honestly. Hot. He sang a couple songs and then it was his big Bon Jovi number, which was really good. Then, he started singing this song that I never heard before, and it was AWESOME...And Elliott came out to sing the duet with him. Their voices were like magic together! They meshed together perfectly and it was so beautiful. When it was over, MNH (who is no AI fan) leaned over to me, and said "WOW! Nice, really.

Elliott was just what I expected. Perfect. He should have won, really. People should have been able to look past his quirky looks. He sang effortlessly. It was beautiful and I was moved. He is my American Idol. I'd buy his CD in a second. Awesome.

Then was Kat. Okay, yes she is hot, and yes, she has a good voice, BUT, it all sounds/looks so contrived and boring. She sang the same GDarn songs she ALWAYS sings, and I just didn't care...Black Horse and a Cherry Tree, and Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, she did look amazing in the black dress cut way down to there and backless. I'll give her that!

Last, was Taylor, who walked right in front of me on his way to the stage, singing. He was just okay. He's a great performer and can play a mean harmonica, but his vocals are eh. He dances like my middle son and that makes me giggle. MNH and I were marveling at the likeness in the dance moves. Disturbing, really.

Of course, they did their encore "We are the Champions" and the men came out and sang a Guns and Roses song together, which was pretty good.
All in all, I had a great time and I'm glad that I went. I can't wait for the next season!!!!
I'll post about the new house soon. It's beautiful and I am oh-so-happy!!!
Peace out,
Mom

We went fishing last night with my father-in-law, who is visiting from New Jersey, and I caught the jackpot fish. Which means my fish was the biggest/heaviest on the boat. He was a great big halibut and he was really a tough guy to bring on the boat. My arm is still spasming!! We go out many times throughout the year, and I really enjoy it. My husband got me into it, and I never thought that I would like it as much as I do. The greatest part about catching the biggest fish on a boat full of men is how they all just chalk it up to luck or a fluke. Becuase if not, they would have to admit that a woman is better than them!!! Anyway, it was a great time and we are going to eat a delicious fish for dinner!
The link to Islandia Sportfishing in San Diego is up top...check it out!

Yesterday, Andrea Yates was found not guilty by reason of insanity in the drowning deaths of her five children. I could not be more unnerved and disgusted. She murdered her children, all of whom thoroughly trusted and loved her. I keep dwelling on the idea that the last thought in each of their minds was most likely, "Why?" When this first happened about five years ago, I was so upset and obsessed with this story. I was relieved when she was found guilty, thinking that maybe there was some justice in this F'd-up judicial system that we have. Then, when I found out she was being re-tried, I thought for sure that it was just a technicality and they would get it right again. Imagine my dismay when I read the news. It's just gross. Now I know that nothing will bring those children back, but Yates should pay for what she has done. Furthermore, her now ex-husband standing by and supporting her makes me sick. Anyone touches my kids and you can be sure they are immediately damned to hell in my mind. I comfort myself by thinking that he is so ashamed of himself for not noticing the telling signs of her frustrations and depression, that he is now standing by her in an attempt to make himself feel better. If she truly felt remorse and has since realized her sickness and is saddened by it, she should have accepted the guilty plea and spent the rest of her life in jail thinking about what she has done. That would be justice.

I'm happy. There is peace in my life, even though there is so much going on. I read my profile and I realized that it sounds like I don't have any free time or family time. Not true. I work only about 30-35 hours per week. I am fortunate in that my kids are not in day care, and are taken care of by my husband and I. I have had quite a few people ask me lately when I am going to put my youngest in day care, implying that he is required to be in day care. I don't plan on it. I don't chastise those who have chosen that option. I also realize that for some, it is necessary in their lives. Not so for us. This is what works for us. Please don't tell me that it is necessary for my child's development for him to be around other children and learn from them. It will be time for Kindergarten soon enough. He is always around other children, and is quite sociable. I'm not worried, and you shouldn't worry, either. He'll be fine. Better than fine, actually. I've even heard people say how bright he is and that I should put him in school sooner to expand his education. People don't even consider that it might be a reflection of how much time we spend with him. Could it possibly be that he is so bright because of us? Oh no, of course not!;-)
Life is good, really.
Peace out,
Mom

We got the house!!!!! Well, it's a condo, but we will still own it!! Here are a couple of pictures(The furniture is not ours) We are stressing a bit about the mortgage because it is over twice as much as our rent, but we are determined. I picked up a night job which I don't really like, but I feel like it's necessary. I don't mind working, especially when it will help us out. So now, it's time for me to say good-bye to all of my frivilous shopping habits and expensive food. Here comes shopping with coupons and watching sales. Good-bye to impulse trips to San Francisco and Vegas. I'll miss you. Good bye to year passes to the San Diego zoo and tri-yearly trips to Disneyland. Hello to free museum days at Balboa Park and trips to the beach. Hello to picnics in the park and swimming at the community pool. Hello to nightly walks and more time spent with friends and family. The boys will get to ride their bikes outside and walk to their grandparents' house. They also are in the best schools in the district and I couldn't be happier about that!!!! Well, I guess it doesn't sound too bad after all.
Peace out, Mom

Yesterday, we did it. We put in two offers on condos in the same area. I'm so nervous. They have three days to respond, but since tomorrow is a holiday, it could be Thursday before we know anything! ARGH! I am so excited at the prospect of owning our own home. I am sick of this sh!t hole that we live in. I hate that our kids can't ride their bikes, skateboard, or roller blade. I hate that our neighbors blare music at 7:30 in the morning on a Sunday when you really want to sleep in! We will live within walking distance of the elementary school, and MO will be able to go to the middle school and high school that we want him to go to! No more inter-district transfers! Yeah! This is one of the most stressful things that we have ever done. What was weird is that, after we put the offers in, a lot of that stress went away. We had all the information, made a good decision, and handed it over. It felt good. Hopefully, it won't get stressful again. (Yeah right, when we get that first mortgage payment, we may weep!)
Peace out,
Mom

I've always honored my dad on Father's Day, and I think that it's important to acknowledge what he did/does to make me the person I am today. I really do think my dad is a great guy... We had our issues when I was growing up, but that was normal teenager crap. When I was a grown woman and had to move home to escape a horrible marriage, he and my mom took us in. He provided the role model that my sons needed. He showed them that not all men scream and hit. He showed them that some men even did dishes and changed diapers. They even hug, nuzzle, and kiss! He is smart, funny, caring, and loving. All of that together equals one wonderfully sarcastic, witty man!
When he walked me down the aisle on my wedding day, he put me at ease with his sense of humor that I admire so much. That's one trait that I admire in myself...He taught me that through it all, we have the ability to laugh. Whatever is thrown our way, there is always something to laugh about, and something to look forward to.
He has always been good to my mom, and because of that, I realized what I wanted in my marriage. They always hold hands and kiss, and I know that he would rather spend his time with her than with anyone else. I will never forget the time that she needed him most; when her mom died. He was out on a ship in the middle of the ocean and was sent home on a helicopter to be with her. She had been in her room all morning, and when he came home, my sister and I were sitting on the couch in the livingroom. After talking to us for a few minutes and telling us about when his grandfather died and how he felt, he asked where my mom was. We told him, and he headed down the hallway to their room. When he stepped in the room and closed the door, I heard my mom cry. It was a raw, heartbroken cry, and I could tell that she waited for him to come home so that he could comfort and protect her. That's when I really knew what the love between a husband and a wife was supposed to feel like.
When I first got in a relationship with my husband, my dad was leery. He was worried that this man wasn't good enough. Not only for me, but for the grandsons that he loved so much. Over the years, he has sized him up, spent time with him, and eventually gave him his stamp of approval. How do I know this? Well, he lets him eat his steak. He even buys dinner when we all go out once in a while. They sit next to each other on the couch and exchange jokes. They laugh together, and they keep up with each other's wit. That's important in our family! My dad supports our marriage and loves our sons. He is everything that we could ask for in a father, father-in-law, and grandfather. So, Happy Father's Day, Daddy. You are really appreciated and loved.

So much is happening, and it seems I have few free moments.  I have been writing so much for class that I don’t have any time to write on here!
Finally, the semester is over, and today will be my last day of work for a few weeks which is nice, if it weren’t for the fact that I could use the money.  Hopefully, I will be getting a night job soon so that I can continue on in the manner that I have grown accustomed to!
My oldest son will be graduating from 6th grade in a couple of weeks, and I am feeling really old.  The last few years have really pushed me into that middle age bracket, and I don’t know how I feel about that!  I still have friends that are quite young, and some of my friends my age don’t even have any kids.  Sometimes I get a little jealous, especially when they tell me about dodge ball games, softball, paddling, improv theatre, independent film outings, nights out watching a band play, and trips to Vegas.  Sometimes I wish I had done some of that before rushing into the mommy role.  Then sometimes, I look at them and I forget about all that and enjoy our outings together.  I enjoy the camping trips, Disneyland, trips to the zoo, and Disney movie nights.  I love when they kiss me on the cheek before bedtime.  And I swell with pride when I look at my sons and sometimes see a glimpse of the men they are becoming.  I have liberal views on politics, I believe in the power of women, I hope for the future of our country while realizing it’s going to take a lot of work, pray for the men who are fighting a war that has been going on for hundreds of years, and hope that I’ll be able to change just a little corner of the world.  All of this, I’m passing onto them, and that gives me such great joy.  Those are the times when I don’t forget about my age, but I do realize that I just don’t care as much.

This is the reason he should have won...because he can sing, ya'll!!!! I have heard from people that saw him live at AI that he was the best performer with the best voice. They say it is oh-so-powerful live! Poor guy didn't look hot enough, so he got booted!:-(
Anyway, enjoy

Am I about to win the Mother of the Year Award or what???? I have a mountain of essays to write, and a presentation to get together for work, and I am spending countless hours staring at the computer and neglecting my little Bubba. So, he is alternating between Dora the Explorer and playing cars(which he loves). I sing to him and get up every once in a while to kiss and hug him, but I know that's not enough. I've decided I'm going to really buckle down and do all this work when I don't want to, so I can get it done soon and focus on other things. I think I am focusing on so many other things and not really concentrating...so, that's what I'm going to work on!!!!! Argh!!!! I should just take my own advice and not watch Medium tonight, or read that really good novel that I like....I should just focus on boring old American History and get these essays done!!! Also, my birthday is this Saturday and we're trying to buy a house, so I have a little stress build-up, ya know?????? Back to work...
Peace Out, Mom
BTW....I got Bubba to say "peace out", but he says, "A-peace out":-)

So, we are trying to buy a new house. Right now we rent a three bedroom apartment, but we would really like to own our own home. It is not too easy a feat in this southern California market where the median home price is around 650k. We are waiting on the loan approval, and we have already started to look at homes, mostly four bedroom condos. I'm starting to stress a bit. It is exciting...I like the thought of painting walls and designing the interior of a home, but the money aspect is a little overwhelming. The kids are excited, mostly because they want a dog. I hope NH and I can make it through all this without killing each other!
On a different note...I am teaching a workshop next week at the college, and I am stressing out about that also. I also have a 20 page story, and eight page research paper and three essays due by next week. Good God, what am I thinking????? I would really like to go to Earth Day this weekend at Balboa Park to unwind(I almost typed rewind:-) We'll see how everything's going!!!!
*skips off to write papers*
Peace Out,
Mom

Here is the pack at the San Diego Zoo. We had a great time. It's amazing how so many kids with so many different personalities can mesh so well. I enjoy having them all together, and at the end of the day, I don't want to kill any of them! I always tell people, going from one child to two is the hardest. Once you figure that out, the rest is gravy. Especially when there are this many of them. They tend to travel in a pack and look out for each other. Really, it's a blast and I enjoy every one of them.
Peace Out,
Mom

Just a sample of the new pictures that I added to the Flickr thingy on the right. We went fishing last week with our friends and we caught the jackpot fish! It was a pretty big Salmon Grouper!! We had a great time and only two of our ten-person party got sick. Not too bad. Everyone got a chance to reel in a fish except for my lovely friend who was doing her duty to watch over her children. She helped them reel them in, but never caught one on her own. Maybe next time! I love this picture of my NH and my MS. They look adorable!

I tried to put this cool evil thingy on my blog and it jacked everything up. So, I changed over to this look! Waddya think? I'm still trying to stay ahead on my homework, which is a chore. My kids went on vacation Friday which means we are going to be spending three glorious weeks together. Yeah. Hopefully, we'll be able to come up with some cool things to do. Right now, we're just being lazy. Tomorrow, we're going fishing with our friends. It should be fun!! I'll post pictures tomorrow! Random thoughts...

Trying to take too many classes...Kids working on projects...Working...Conferences...Cousin's quincenera...Fishing on Sunday...Last week was Randy's 12th birthday...Good God, I'm the mother of a tween...Took four 11-12 year old boys to the movies and dinner on Saturday and wanted to die...Maybe I can write more tomorrow...
Peace out,
Mom

I am making my way through the classic authors... I have read so much in my life that was just for fun, and also some stuff that was required reading. However, I have never really branched out to read authors that are legendary. I read Matthew Lewis' The Monk, and Jane Austin's Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice. I just picked up James Joyce's Dubliners, and John Steinbeck's The Winter of our Discontent. I decided that I shouldn't just read good books, I should read GREAT books. I also just finished Double Indemnity and The Grifters, both of which were required reading. Anyway...I am enjoying all of them. (Except Sense and Sensibility...OMG, it was killing me to finish that book. It was soooo proper. It made me crazy!)

Anyway...I have so much more time for myself and my family now that I'm not spending time with my sister. I knew that she demanded a lot of my time, but I didn't realize just how much. I actually have time to do my homework, and have time with my husband. I'm going out with my friend tonight to watch Brokeback Mountain in Hillcrest, and we're going out to dinner beforehand. Yeah! Grown-up time!!!! It's quite refreshing, and honestly, very nice...

Today, I am playing along with The Kept Woman(click the title to see her harrowing escape from a semi), and posting my experience with breaking the law.

I was mostly a good girl until I turned 18, then I discovered sex. That was fun. Then, I met the loser who I eventually married and later divorced. When I met him, he was living on the streets. I, being the good girl from a white bread family, thought it was wicked cool to live in hotels. So, I left the comforts of my home to hang around with him and his friends.

Eventually, we all ran out of money and had nowhere to go (yes, I could have gone home, but I was stupid). We started to stay in vacant houses. Houses for sale, rent, whatever. We never made a mess or anything, but we broke in after dark, and basically squatted there until the next morning. We also stayed in motor homes that were housed in a big lot by my house. There, we found canned goods that we did partake in. (I feel bad that they may have later gone camping thinking they were prepared, and then realized we ate all their chili.) There were many narrow escapes from homeowners, and stories about sliding down second story overhangs, but basically, it was all pretty stupid. That was my big crime spree. I eventually went home. Pregnant.

So that's it. If any of you want to remind me of other things I've done, feel free.

I'm taking a human sexuality class online. I needed an extra "A" to boost my GPA, and I thought this was the road that I could take to that A. No problem there. I have three kids, I know a little about sex. The problem is, all these morons that I am taking the class with. People are still really close-minded and sheltered. People are opposed to so many types of liberal behaviors, that I am astonished that this is a class that I am taking in San Diego. I am assuming that they are all still very young, or that they are very old and hold onto archaic beliefs. Someone actually said that if her daughter "ended up gay", she would try to "educate it out of her"! I mean, really. This is really an eye-opening class. Not because I'm learning anything from the material, but because I am learning things about my classmates. It's really very disturbing.

I know the title is shocking, but I am soooo mad at her that I can't even stand to be around her. The other night, she called me on my cell while I was at the grocery store and asked me if I wanted to pick her up at the college and take her home. I had ordered something from one of her customers, and she had it, so I could get my stuff and drop her off. No big deal. I had my oldest in the car(reluctantly-he hates going places with me now, he's way too mature and cool). When I picked her up, she started talking about the guys she was meeting on EHarmony. I'm glad she's doing it, she needs to meet somebody.

Everybody needs Somebody, sometime... I digress.

Anyway, I noticed something as she was talking. I interrupted and asked her,
"Did you make one of your qualifications 'only white men'?"

She applied in the affirmative, and from there, we launched into a huge fight!

Racist!

She says she doesn't find herself attracted to anyone other than white men.

To that, I gave her a list of men she was attracted to that were indeed, not white.

She says they were only exceptions to the rule. She compared not liking "darker" men to not liking short men.

Logistics! I shouted.

How can you not like a man because of the color of his skin? You are really limiting yourself, especially in San Diego! I said.

You're just saying that because you're married to a black man! She spat.

Yeah, that's my goal...To get every white woman I know married to a black man. *dripping with sarcasm* Stupid!

I basically threw her out of my car at my parent's house, and I haven't felt the same about her since. I don't want to be around her. I am totally disgusted, and I can't believe someone that close to me is so close-minded!

My oldest was really paying attention to the argument, and I could tell it really bothered him. After she got out, he said..."I don't want to only date one color of girls. I have already liked all different girls."

At least someone is listening to me...

Yeah!!!! We went to San Francisco! We had such a great time! We took my sister with us because she had never been, and she adds a bit of fun to our travels. I finally got smart and bought our Alcatraz tickets online a couple of days before we went. They were always sold out when we had gone before. It was awesome! It was so interesting. Alcatraz really is a beautiful island, despite what it had been used for. It was very educational, with that fun element of crime and danger.:-) We also ate dim sum in China Town, went to look at the redwoods in Muir Woods, and hung out at Pier 39. We stayed in a real nice Marriott Residence Inn in San Mateo. It had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a full kitchen(with a dishwasher). It was very nice, and it was plenty of room for all of us. Some people don't like to road trip eight hours, but it really works for us. The kids are pretty good in the car, except for the fact that they ask for a snack every 15 minutes. I think next time, I'll pack them their own, individual coolers! Wow, that's a good idea... Anyway, I'm back at home, with a lot of cleaning, homework, and laundry to do. I better get to it. (Click on the title to get to the Alcatraz home page-it's pretty interesting!)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!! I love Valentine's Day!!! I wear pink and put my heart earrings on, and I am so in love! I went to my hubby's business and hung home made valentines from the roof. They were so cute, they had pictures of he and I together. He was so surprised! I made the boys valentine's, too! I want them to always feel loved. I am so excited right now because we are seriously talking about taking an impromptu drive to San Francisco this weekend. WOO HOO!!!! I hope it pans out!

My big man is off to 6th grade camp. A whole week without his mommy. How will he ever survive???? My middle son is so happy. I'm sure it will be a quiet week. I don't really know what to do without him. I took him out Sat night. Just he and I. It was nice. He is such a good boy when you get him alone. It's when he has an audience that he really gets revved up. We went to an improv show and then out to dinner. I introduced him to Thai food. I'm not really sire that he liked it, but he said he did! (Next time, I'll take him out for pizza or burgers) Anyway, I'm gonna help my middle boy with homework, so I'll write more about my anxieties later!

We got a call last night that one of our friends, a brilliant professor and a wonderful man, died on Sunday. He was playing golf and had an aneurysm. I have been crying off and on since I heard the news. I know some of you may think I am an awful human being for saying this, but I can think of quite a few people I would rather see go than him. He was an excellent professor who always had time for his students. He was a rare professor in that he had a sincere love of learning and educating. When he saw me, he always paused to give me a scruffy kiss on the cheek, and always told me that I was beautiful. He was a good man. I am genuinely sorry that he has passed. My husband and I were talking about him last night, and we were laughing about the times when they were playing softball, and he would get so fired up that he would yell at the umpire and get kicked out of the game. It was his fiery Irish temper. Ahhh, Doctor Callahan. After firing off a steady stream of obscenities, he would walk by me as I watched the game and apologize for cursing in front of the kids. I actually found it amusing, and so did the boys. I also found it endearing that he apologized.
You know that song by Billy Joel, "Only the Good Die Young"? It's been stuck in my head since last night. I know that it's not true, that it's not just the good that die young, and that sometimes the good live to ripe old ages. I just can't help but think that it's a shame when people that have something to offer mankind, or at least our little corner of mankind, die and leave a hole in our hearts and in our minds. He made people think. He sometimes made people angry, but that's what opinionated people do. That's why I liked him.
I have said over the years that the reason why people cry when someone dies is because we are sad for ourselves. They have gone on to a beautiful place, and we miss them. We cry because we want them in our lives. This time, I am thinking that I am not only crying for myself, I am crying for all of his students, and all of the people that he could have influenced to love English and Literature. He had a lot more to give, and that's what makes me sad.
That's what makes me question the Universe. It seems that someone else could have gone in his place, and things would run a little smoother down here, ya know?