Shifting Focus
11/08/2008 11:17:00 AM 4 Comments »
So now that the elections are over, I'm going to go back to talking about the jumble of craziness at home.
My oldest son is slowly trying to kill me. We got progress reports on Halloween, and his grades have dropped even further, which I didn't even think was possible. He was kicked off the cross-country team and he is now required to attend math intervention on Mondays, Fridays, and Saturdays. When we talked to him, he didn't have any kind of attitude at all; he just seemed resigned to the bad performance. He said that he just doesn't feel like doing homework.
So how do you deal with a boy who is so smart, but is the first to admit that he's just lazy? How do you motivate him?
We have changed around our schedules so that after school, we are always home when he is, and we have taken away all video games during the week. He is required to do homework for at least an hour after school, and all of us sit at the table together to do it.
Still, I got a call from his math teacher saying that he still isn't turning in his work. If he's doing it, why isn't he turning it in???? He says that he forgets.
I am just at the end of my wits with him. I'm so frustrated. I consider myself a good mom, but when it comes to what is happening with his grades, I am a complete failure. I just don't know what to do.
Peace Out,
Mom
My oldest son is slowly trying to kill me. We got progress reports on Halloween, and his grades have dropped even further, which I didn't even think was possible. He was kicked off the cross-country team and he is now required to attend math intervention on Mondays, Fridays, and Saturdays. When we talked to him, he didn't have any kind of attitude at all; he just seemed resigned to the bad performance. He said that he just doesn't feel like doing homework.
So how do you deal with a boy who is so smart, but is the first to admit that he's just lazy? How do you motivate him?
We have changed around our schedules so that after school, we are always home when he is, and we have taken away all video games during the week. He is required to do homework for at least an hour after school, and all of us sit at the table together to do it.
Still, I got a call from his math teacher saying that he still isn't turning in his work. If he's doing it, why isn't he turning it in???? He says that he forgets.
I am just at the end of my wits with him. I'm so frustrated. I consider myself a good mom, but when it comes to what is happening with his grades, I am a complete failure. I just don't know what to do.
Peace Out,
Mom
4 comment/s:
Is he generally good at math but just not doing the work? Is it possible he is bored?
Yes, he's good at math, but I doubt he's bored in ALL of his classes. He's now failing, or almost failing, all of his classes-except PE and guitar. Ouch. I was in all of the GATE classes when I was in school, so I know that feeling of being bored. I don't think it's that. But maybe...
We are probably terribly mean parents, but when things like that happen with our kids - we first start with losing privileges. We take away all "electronic joy" and then start moving through his life to find the things he values most and take them away. Then, he gets extra chores around the house (essentially he gets zero free time). Finally, we start the punishment if all that doesn't do the trick. Typically, by the time we've gotten to the extra chores, he has decided he will do whatever he has to do to get his free time back.
One other thing to consider, could he be depressed for some reason? That will sometimes keep a kid from doing things they used to enjoy.
The last thought is that he's a boy and from my experience with them, they're not always as motivated as girls are to please others. They do what they want to do (wait, that sounds like a man - which he is a man in training - maybe he's just precocious. *wink*)
Good luck. I'm guessing you've talked to his teachers ...
High diplomas don't mean much any more. If he's bored and close to 16, pull him out of HS and let him start taking classes at a near by community college. Try it this summer and see how he does.
Just a thought.
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