Not-So-Normal Mom

So why don't I blog anymore? Well, that may be because I have all of the other social networking sites to keep me entertained. Maybe I'm being sucked in to the instant gratification of Twitter, Facebook, and my new addiction: Skype.

Or maybe it's because what happens that I really need to write about embarrasses me.

My oldest was busted for smoking weed. Now, as an adult, I am all about the legalization of marijuana. I think that it would solve so many problems. Do I judge people who smoke weed? Hell no. Am I mortified that my 15 y/o does it? Eff ya!!!! As I result, I took all of his privilages. I took his cell phone. He can't go anywhere, unless it's with us. He can't talk on the phone or use the computer. He's basically on house arrest. That's been going on for a while now. He's slowly getting his privileges back. On Saturday, he will get to go to a Halloween activity with a friend-but I'm going. Also, I enrolled him in drug cuonseling: three times a week, three hours a meeting, with a random drug test twice a month. The counseling lasts three months, unless he is unsuccessful. I'm doing what I can.

Does it seem like overkill? Perhaps. However, his bio-dad is evidence of what happens when casual drug use turns into something far more sinister. Am I punishing R for his bio-dad's sins? I hope not. But I do know that it is my job to make sure that he is a productive member of society and that he contributes something worthwhile to this crazy life. This is definitely a learning experience for me. I am trying not to feel incompetent. I am trying not to see a bad mom when I look in the mirror. All I can do is ask the experts and hope that I am taking the right steps to ensure that my son gets my attention.

In addition to that, I started a new job. It's not at all challenging and I really do miss my "family" at the old job. I feel so out of it. I am lonely here. I never really thought that i was the type to need a joyful work environment. I mean, work is work, right? I took this job because it pays 3-4 times what I was making at the old job. When they told me I got the job, I sat in the car and cried. I knew that it was going to change things.

Then, my husband lost his job. Now, he has the opportunity to open his own business in the same place, doing the same thing-but this time, it will be his own thing. So you might be wondering if I'm worried about it. UMMMM, YEAH!!! I know that he has what it takes to make it work, and I hope that he gets the contract. If not....DAMMMMMMMMN... I don't know. The business plan is due tomorrow, and we'll know some time around the 18th of next month. In the meantime, I'm just trucking along.

So as you may have surmised, me being at work and my husband being at home with the kids is challenging. I'm trying not to resent him. Well, maybe that's a strong word. Maybe I'm just a little jealous. I wish that I was at home with the boys. Most of the time, there is nothing better than being surrounded by my sons. They are awesome. This full-time all day, all week thing leaves something to be desired.

Whew! I really feel better after writing this all down. Maybe I'll get back to blogging after all. ;-)

Peace Out,
Mom