Not-So-Normal Mom

So...I'm having issues with the layout. I changed it again, and now when I try to change it to a third-party html layout, an error code comes up. I am frustrated.

Update:
I think I've settled on this one. At least it got up okay, right? Whatever. I'm done playing with it for a while. It took up too much of my time because I was pretty much obsessed with it. ;-)
Peace Out,
Mom

They are doing construction in the intersection in front of my condo complex. I can only turn right now, which is a total pain in the ass. Also, there is a blinking red light where the stoplight used to be. Now, I assumed that everyone knew that the blinking red means that you treat it like a stop sign. You stop, and then proceed. Every single g'damn day, I am amazed at the people who breeze through it without even slowing down. And accident is inevitable.
Peace Out,
Mom

My mother in law will be coming for a visit in a couple of weeks. This is her first visit out here in about three years-since we got married, and her first trip out alone. She hasn't made the trip out here since my father in law passed away two years ago. We know now that when he came out here, he already knew he was sick. At the time, no one knew. So he came out here, and his health began to decline, so he cut his trip short and went home. He died three months later. I think she connects his illness and his trip out here. I hope her trip goes well. I hope we all get along. I'm sure it will be fine. Really. *sigh*
Peace Out,
Mom

Please be patient with me. I was trying something new. I didn't like the blogger layouts, and I don't know any html, so I'm just goofing off. Let me know what you think. I don't like how the text sits right next to the border in the posts, but I'm not sure how to fix it. What do you think? Do you hate it? Honestly. Let me know what you think. I think it might be a little too my-spacey.
Peace Out,
Mom

On the weekends, I work for my sister at her dog grooming place downtown. Yesterday, we decided that my dog needed a makeover, so we jazzed her up a bit. Now, before I start getting hate mail...it is a temporary pet dye, intended for pet use and very safe. It will be gone in about two weeks. Don't worry. But really, doesn't she look pretty cool??? :-)

AND, last night, my little man lost his first tooth while eating an apple. We had been waiting for days for it to come out, so we are sooo excited! :-) Isn't he cute? Coincidentally, tomorrow is his very first school picture day. Awesome!

The highlight of my Missouri-aka Misery-trip was the trip to the St Louis Arch. It was very interesting, and I can now check it off of my list of things to do. To get to the top, you have to ride in a little pod that feels very much like an escape pod from a "Star Trek" episode. It only seats 5 people-snugly. If you are claustrophobic, it isn't a good place to be, as it takes four long minutes to get to the top. However, it was a lovely view from the top-I could see the Mississippi river, the ballpark, and their county building. Anyway, been there, done that.

I want one. I have reached that age where my biological clock is taking its final turn. I just want one more. My hubby does want one, but says that we can't afford it. Logically, I know he's right. We work hard enough. We are in a recession for God's sake. BUT, when we can afford it-because there will be a time when we can-we will be too old. Or my eggs will be too old.

There are babies everywhere! Everywhere I go they are just cooing at me, and willing me to make one to join them in their baby games. Yeah, I'm delirious.

I saw a woman on the plane with her newborn son, and she was staring down at him while he was staring up at her with that intense baby stare. That baby stare that says "You are it. You are the only person in the world that I love." Complete adoration. No, it's not that I need that. I have a whole lot of love coming at me, really. I just feel like I have more love to put out. Damn this biological clock ticking in my ear!

Peace Out,
Mom

Well, I got back Tuesday night. It was a very interesting trip. Like I said, I went for my dad,so I did accomplish that. My aunt did indeed wear another pair of bootie shorts and another tank top to the funeral and cemetery. But this time, she wore some closed-toed shoes. Such class! Two of my uncles wore jeans, and one of them had his shirt unbuttoned just about to the navel. All that was missing was the gold chain. AND, the man kept flirting with my sister and I. His nieces. He is the father of over a dozen childern that he has no contact with. Yeah, a real winner. And gross. I kept hearing banjos playing in my head. It was just one thing after another.

Now, I need to also say that I love the country. I love the simple life and I respect people that live on the land and work with their hands. However, please don't live up to every hick stereotype that city folk put out there.

It was over a hundred degrees and 94 percent humidity the whole time we were there, so when I got home, I had never been so happy.

More stories to come. :-)

Peace Out,
Mom

My granddad died a few days ago. He was my dad's father. When my mom called to tell me, she described how sad that my dad was. It was at that point that I knew I had to go to Missouri with him. My mom and dad flew out Saturday morning, and my sister and I flew out Saturday afternoon. After a layover in Phoenix, my sister and I arrived in St Louis with a three hour drive ahead of us. Thank God there was a White Castle open all night, since we arrived at midnight and had an issue at the car rental place. So we started our journey at 1am. We got to the hotel at about 4am, and slept only until about 8:30. The viewing and masonic ceremony was yesterday, and the funeral is today. It is always interesting being around this family because we never see any of them. And really, I was somewhat disowned when I had a baby with a black man and married him. Noone is saying anything outright, but I know its there. I keep reminding myself that I am here for my father, and that's it. But there's a small part of me that wants to hit someone. I'll write later about my aunt who wore bootie shorts, a white shirt, and glittery flip-flops to the viewing and ceremony. Yeah, wow.
Peace Out,
Mom

Yesterday was his first day of Kinder, but the parents stayed all day. Today, he went all on his own. Wow. I didn't cry like I did when my oldest went to Kinder. Maybe I'm an old veteran now. I got this school seperation anxiety down. It wasn't until I was driving away in the minivan that I realized that the van was so very big and empty. And I also felt so silly talking to myself.
Peace Out,
Mom

Today, MO and MM went back to school. MO went to his first day of high school, and MM went to his first day of middle school. Tomorrow will be the first day of kindergarten for Little Man. This is a busy back-to-school time for our family with a lot of transitions for us to work out, which is why I took the summer off from the Writing Center. We have to figure out what our schedules are going to look like and how we are going to handle it. I really wanted to keep little man out of daycare this year. However, that's going to be pretty hard. Here in wonderful San Diego, kinder is still only half a day. He will be going to the afternoon class, which means he goes from about 11-2. Not too long, right? I need to get my schedule at the Writing Center worked out so that I can drop him off, and work for a while, and be home for the big boys. My wonderful husband did homework with them all last year and I think he's a bit burned out. I'm better at that sort of thing. ;-)
Anyway, I'm trying to not worry about the big boys at their new big schools. I really hope MM makes friends. Psychologists say that the most difficult transition for kids is the one between elementary school and middle school. They are going from a small group of kids that they've known for 7 years to a huge pool of kids from all around. Ugh! Still, I'll try not to worry too much. :-I
Peace Out,
Mom

The fair was pretty fun. My hubby and I took the little man over to ride a few rides in the kiddie area and then we looked at the exhibits and ate a few fattening things. The fair food is so effing good; it's ridiculous. I probably clogged a couple of arteries. We let the four big boys run amok in the ride area and checked on them periodically. It was pay-one-price day, which means you p;ay 30 bucks a piece and ride all of the rides. They had a great time. I figured that it was better to let them run around and ride than be subjected to watching them ride those ridiculously scary rides. :-)
Like I said in the last post, I knew that I would be picking up our little visiting friend on Monday. I did, and we still have him. I'm taking them to the beach in about 10 minutes. We also have an extra boy. So again, I have five boys. I must like to abuse myself. D informed me Monday morning that he's moving back here. He says that his dad hits him and his mom said that he could move back. I'm so glad that he's moving back, but I'm so sad that he has to volley between two bad choices. WTF??? His mom doesn't live in a very good part of town. I proposed to my husband that he stay with us Monday through Friday so that he can get a good, safe education. I don't think my husband wants to think about it. We are struggling with a huge mortgage and feeding these growing boys as it is. I just wish I could do more for him. I feel like it's my job. I don't know, maybe something will come to me.
Peace Out,
Mom

I took five boys to the fair today. I'm so weary.

The boy who is visiting from Chicago will be staying with us at least through Saturday. When we called his mom this morning to ask her when she wanted him home, she said we could keep him until we got sick of him. I told her that we wouldn't get sick of him, but we would be dropping him off Saturday because I have to work this weekend. I will be picking him up again Monday morning because if I don't, she wil take him to daycare. It makes me sad for him, but I'm glad to have him. He's pretty awesome.
Peace Out,
Mom

Today, I have five boys in my home. I will still have those boys when I take them to the County Fair tomorrow for "Pay One Price Day." One of them is a boy from our old apartments that often comes to visit. His mom said it was too hard to raise him, so she shipped him off to Chicago to stay with his dad. When he comes back to San Diego to visit, he calls us when his plane lands and is usually at our house within a day of arriving. He then usually spends most of the time at my house. I love him. I have told my husband many times that I would adopt him if I could. I picked him up last night. He arrived Monday morning and spent Monday and Tuesday in daycare. He is 12, almost 13. His mother kept his little brother living at home, so she sent D to the same daycare that his little brother is at while she's at work. She didn't take any time off from work. WTF???? He comes about every six months or so, and every time, she doesn't take time off from work. When he's here, she doesn't call to see how he is, and she always expresses gratitude. When he's not here, I have passed her in the halls at the college, and she pretends that she doesn't know me.
I know that I am not a perfect mom. Believe me, I know. I screw up. However, I can't imagine shipping my son off and then not taking time off when he visits. It makes my heart hurt.
The other boy lives across the way and his mom works a lot. So he is here every day and a lot of nights. He calls me mom. I kinda love him, too.
I always wanted more kids-I just didn't realize that they would come to me as boys, on the brink of manhood. I want them all to grow up to be responsible, loving men. I feel a responsibility to all of them to teach them the importance of education and responsibility. I want them to know that it is important to love and care for each other. It's hard being a woman in a sea of burdgeoning testosterone.
Peace Out,
Mom

"Expressions I Question"

In your own words:

"You hear it in classrooms. And courtrooms. They'll say, 'Tell us...in your own words...' Do you have your own words? Personally, I'm using the ones everybody else has been using. Next time they tell you to say something in your own words, say, 'Nigflot blorny quando floon.'"

We are always late. My husband is more guilty of this than I am, although he would probably argue. I am tardy for things when it is not important to be on time. He is tardy when it is important. He is late going to the movies, and other things that have a set start time. I am late when we are supposed to be somewhere at a time that ends in "-ish". Tonight, we were supposed to go to the movies with my family. My dad was very excited about seeing "Get Smart" because he loved the TV show. It started at 8. It is now after 8 and my husband is still not home. He thought we could get in after it started. On a Friday night. The night the movie came out. Riiight. So we are not going. The kids are disappointed, and so am I. Maybe I am just tired because I worked all day and came home to dishes overflowing in the sink. Whatever.
Peace Out,
Mom

ps. There is nothing worse than an overflowing sink full of dishes where someone has dumped the wet coffee grounds in the sink. Icky.

What can I say about the men in my life???




Growing up, I was in a female-dominated world. It was my sister and I and my mom, and then there was my dad. I know that he was sick of the period talk, the emotional roller-coasters, and the boy-crazy teenagers in his house. My dad wasn't always able to express himself, and I remember one time when I was younger, after he told me to do something, I told him that his voice sounded like finger nails on a chalk board and I didn't want him to talk to me anymore. For a week or so, he didn't talk to me; he left post-it notes all over the house. It made me crazy! Yeah, I missed his voice. So even if he didn't always act conventionally, he always taught me something. He taught me that learning and knowledge were important and he encouraged me to find the fun in the pursuit of the answer. When I went through some of the hardest times in my life, he was just there. He didn't intervene, but made me learn it on my own. I love my dad. He is such a great man. He is a wonderful father-in-law and an awesome "boompa."

Now, my honey. I know that since his father passed away, father's day is especially hard. It breaks my heart. I hope that he knows that he is everything that his father wanted him to be. Not just because he is a great businessman, but also because he is a fantastic husband and father. Even though he is very tired, he helps the boys with their homework and takes time to play. He takes the boys to the park and stays up in their rooms with them to watch them master their video games. He is firm and strong, and the boys are so very lucky to have them in their lives. He provides everything that they need and he is the reason why they will all grow up to be awesome men.

Happy Father's Day to the men who enrich my life everyday. I love you!

Peace out,
Mom

Yesterday was our third wedding anniversary. We rock!

I've known him since I was 16 or 17. I first saw him when I went to meet my mom for lunch at work. He was going up the escalator and my mom said "See that guy? Stay away from him."

Yeah, that pretty much encouraged me to find out what she was talking about. I got hired at the department dtore for the Christmas season when I was 17. When I turned 18, and he was 26, we had a fling. It didn't last too long, and we both moved on.

I moved on to my not-so-wonderful ex-husband and had two kids. After suffering in that relationship for about four years, I moved back home with my two very young sons and got a job at the same department store, but at a different mall. There, I ran into J running a coffee shop. We started dating soon after and took it real slow with the boys.

We've lived together now for over five years, and we have another little man added to the mix. He is an awesome husband and an amazing father.

Like any marriage, we've gone through a lot of crap together. We have even pissed each other off quite a few times. It's not easy all of the time, but most of the time it is. I love, love, love him. He makes me so happy and I am having such a great time experiencing this chaotic life with him.

Happy Anniversary to us!

Peace Out,
Mom

What to say about my mom...

My mom pretty much rocks. She's pretty, smart, and funny. She is very fair-minded, even though when I was younger I shouted "That's not fair!" at her enough times! ;-) She makes me laugh. She's a great grandma to the brood of loud boys, and she almost always has purse-candy. ;-)

When I was younger, and going through those teenage years, we fought. Not because she was mean, but because she wanted to keep me safe. It took getting older and having kids of my own to realize that she was right.

When I was pregnant the first time, I was very young and the father of my baby was an idiot with no job and really, not very much hope. My mom was crying, and I was angry because she was crying. I wanted her to be happy about the baby. I will never forget what she told me that night. She said "for the rest of your life, this is your baby. He will leave, but the baby will always be yours." At the time, I was filled with righteous indignation. Now, I realize that she was right.

When you become a mother, that baby is yours. No matter what. It is amazing to me that I feel that momma tiger come out so often when I feel my cubs are in danger. I know that my mom felt that when she heard that I was pregnant. She wanted to protect me from what she knew was coming.

Of course, it all worked out. Now, I'm married to a great guy and my mom really loves him. So really, I rarely see that momma tiger come out in her anymore. ;-)

On this day, I also think about two years ago when I almost lost my mom. When my dad called to say that she was going to the ICU, I scrambled to get dressed and rush off to the hospital. My husband was on his way to the house, and I was trying to get it together so that I could drive up to the hospital. As I was getting ready, I found myself putting on jewelry that she gave me. I realized that I was putting all of these things on as some sort of amulet to protect me, or to protect her, or maybe to link us in some way. I wanted her to be protected, and I thought that if I could just find the one thing that would work, everything would be okay. I know, it's strange. On the way to the hospital I realized that it would be hypocritical of me to ask God to save her. At the time, I hadn't been to church in quite some time and I didn't want to be the kind of person that only looked to God in times of trouble. All I could do through the tears was look up at the sky and just say "please. No."

She made it through and is back to her old self; and I like her. Through all of this, I learned what life is about. It's about living for today and spending time with the people you love. You unever know what's going to happen!

Anyway...all of this to say that my mom is awesome, and I really don't know what I would do without her. We don't always agree, but in the end, does that even matter? I love her so much. What I learned from her is that once you have a child, everything in your life is done for that child. Everything.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And Thanks.

Peace Out,
Mom