Not-So-Normal Mom

My boss can be such a fuck-face!

As much as I hate to admit it, I've caught a cold. I pride myself on never getting sick. I must have mocked the sickos one too many times. Oh well. I took the day off to nurse my cold, but I just feel like I'm wallowing in illness. I guess I'll go back to work tomorrow and attempt functionality. I hope I'm not too bitchy.
Peace Out,
Mom

My middle son left for 6th grade camp on Monday. I am feeling really sad about it, and I'm not altogether sure why I feel this way. Well, that's not true. My son is being bullied at school. He is really the nicest boy in the world and boys are assholes. They take advantage of his niceness and have decided that he's gay. They pretend that he has a disease and walk around him. I'm afraid that when he gets back, he will have had a really bad time and I'll feel like a really bad mom for sending him away. I'm really hoping that he is having a fantastic time and that all the boys will bond and forget all of their previous animosities. Wishful thinking, I know, but a mom can hope, right? When my oldest left, I wasn't worried at all. He had a great time and has nothing but happy memories about camp. I'm hoping that it will be the same for my middle guy.
Peace Out,
Mom

I quit my job counting money at night. I did this for two reasons: They were moving the job to a morning position, and I have another job in the morning. Also, if I were to continue on at the company, I would have to work on the sales floor. At Christmas. Yeah...no.
Hopefully, I will now be able to spend more time with family and friends. I'm looking forward to it! I already have plans this Saturday and next...when people found out I have some more free time, they started calling!! This is a good thing, but I could use some more "me" time.
My middle son is going to camp on Monday!! To be honest, I'm a little nervous. When my oldest went away two years ago, I wasn't so nervous. He is a bit more mature and makes new friends easily. He is really gregarious and cocky! However, my middle son is a different kind of guy. He is VERY nice. I tell people all the time that he's then nicest boy I've ever met, and I mean it! But that means that people take advantage of him and pick on him, which hurts me. I hope that he has a good time at camp. I want it to be a positive experience for him, and not something that he looks bad on as the time "mom sent me away to be abused for a week." Ya know??? Oh, my nerves.
We've made travel arrangements to go to New Jersey for a little over a week starting the day after Christmas. All five of us. I am looking into things we can do in the area so that we aren't cloistered in the house with my mother-in-law all week. She is no longer accustomed to the noise and activity of three rowdy boys. I don't want to see her look of disapproval pointed in their direction. I'm barely used to it pointed in my direction.
Peace Out,
Mom

I'm not feeling especially Halloween-ey. I don't really know why...Usually I love this holiday, but my kids aren't so into it this year and that kind of rubs off on me. I am also really tired...as usual! I've quit one of my jobs so that I can have some more time. I'm really looking forward to it! Friday is my last night counting money at night. Yeah! I hope everyone goes out tonight and has some mischievous, wicked fun!!!

Peace Out,

Mom

I was remarking to a blogger friend that I may have finally reached the point where my foundation is cracking. I am growing weary of this busy life. It is just non-stop! I need a break. My brain hurts. My kids are great and they really help to keep me sane. They are the reason I work so hard, and yet they are the reason I don't want to work at all. Weird, huh? Back to the grind...
Peace out,
Mom

1. After reading about the woman who was allowed extra time to take her medical exams, I felt a little heartache for women across America. Do we really want to ask for more than what everyone else gets??? Before you ask...yes, I was a breastfeeding mom. I breastfed all three of my sons. Proudly. And discreetly. I was not one to whip out the boob while eating at a restaurant, or while on public transportation. I also had a productive, normal life, and I didn't ask for accommodations. I found out after reading more about this case that the woman had already been granted a whole extra day for her ADHD and dyslexia. She's taking her medical exams. To be a doctor. Anyone else worried? Quit bitching lady. It seems to me that you are just a big whiner.

2. I'm thirsty for knowledge. Just when I think I've learned enough about something, somebody asks me a question that I don't have the answer for, and I have to go and read about it even more. I don't like not knowing.

3. I saw the sky the other night, and it looked so amazing to me. Then, I just got angry with myself because I couldn't think of any way to describe it to someone else. I couldn't find the words to explain what it looked like, or how it made me get that feeling right before you are about to cry. You know, that feeling where you can almost feel tears well up and your chest tingles, and your body just is waiting, expecting something...

4. People disappoint me. But I'm starting to think that it's really just because I'm a bitch. I expect too much, and I should just be happy about who people are and accept them.

5. Once you have reached a certain age, and you look, I mean really look, at yourself, and you realize that your character needs an adjustment...is it possible?

6. The Jena 6...hmmmm...What those white boys did was so wrong on so many levels, and they should be punished. However, those boys should not have beaten that boy. Two wrongs don't make a right. I just don't think this is something the Al Sharpton needs to defend. It's almost like he's saying it's okay that they beat him. What happened to pacifism and speaking out against injustices without violence? We are supposed to stand up and shout to draw attention when something awful happens. We shouldn't lash out with violence.

7. My boys rock. My middle son just read the last two Harry Potter books in three weeks. During the last book, he laughed and cried, and shared with me what was happening. I just felt so proud. My oldest was in the kitchen two nights ago, and was rifling through the pantry, searching for food to fill his ever-growing appetite, and lifted his shirt. Lo and Behold, he had a six pack. He's growing. Little man can ride a bike. Not without training wheels, but still. He's also learning how to write his name. And when he says good bye to me in the morning at daycare, he hugs me tight and strokes my hair as he looks around the room for something to do. So sweet.

8. My husband makes me so very happy. I came across a post on http://thismustallmakesense.blogspot.com/ that says "Sometimes it takes one relationship to incinerate your wick. And you can never be lit again." I couldn't disagree more. I found someone that keeps my flame burning, although some had tried before. Although they may have burned it up a bit, none has kept this fire burning like my husband. Even though we are so very busy, we find time for each other, and it makes all the difference. Sometimes he frustrates me, sometimes I get on his nerves, but in the end, it's all about the love, baby. It's he and I against the world!! ;-)
Peace Out,
Mom

On Sunday, my husband went fishing. Besides the fact that he caught quite a few fish, it turned out to be an awful trip. That's not what I'm posting about, however. What I'm posting about is what someone said to him as he was leaving. He was in the parking lot and he was SO ready to leave and go home. As he was driving away, someone said, "Good job, ni**er." Now, I haven't heard that word used in a derogatory manner in quite some time, except on TV or in the movies. I always just assumed that if I did hear it, I would just consider the source, and move along. However, I now realize that words hurt. I'm a little upset. I don't know what I'll do if anyone ever says that in reference to my son. I may just kill someone.
I thought today would be a good day to post my favorite Martin Luther King, Jr. quote. Just something to inspire me to be a better person, you know?


"The hour has come for everybody, for all institutions of the public sector and the private sector to work to get rid of racism. And now if we are to do it we must honestly admit certain things and get rid of certain myths that have constantly been disseminated all over our nation.
One is the myth of time. It is the notion that only time can solve the problem of racial injustice. And there are those who often sincerely say to the Negro and his allies in the white community, "Why don’t you slow up? Stop pushing things so fast. Only time can solve the problem. And if you will just be nice and patient and continue to pray, in a hundred or two hundred years the problem will work itself out."
There is an answer to that myth. It is that time is neutral. It can be used wither constructively or destructively. And I am sorry to say this morning that I am absolutely convinced that the forces of ill will in our nation, the extreme rightists of our nation—the people on the wrong side—have used time much more effectively than the forces of goodwill. And it may well be that we will have to repent in this generation. Not merely for the vitriolic words and the violent actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence and indifference of the good people who sit around and say, "Wait on time." "

Peace Out,
Mom

"There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world.
It would be a pity to damage yours."

-Princess Bride

Peace Out,
Mom

I've been working at the College for well over two years. A semester ago, a new Coordinator came on at the Writing Center who was more conservative and rigid than the others. She deemed my tops to be too low cut. WTF??? I ALWAYS dress in business attire; however, sometimes I'm a little more relaxed in the summer when it is too hot to suit up. However, I don't dress like a bum. Yesterday, I was feeling especially pretty, and I even took time to shave my legs in the morning. Then, when I got into work, people told me that I looked pretty and I felt really good-for about an hour. Then, the Clerk at our Center told me that my dress was too low cut. She said that they have talked to me before about it, and that I can't wear anything that shows my breasts.
I have big boobs. Large Hooters, Grande Ta-Tas, Huge Melons. Unless I wear a turtleneck, they draw a bit of attention. I have actually been told that what I am wearing would be okay if I had a flat chest. After complaining to one of our coordinators, I was told that he "didn't want to see a line." He was of course, referring to my cleavage. Again, unless I wear a turtleneck, you are going to see "a line."
I am getting especially frustrated because at this point, I feel like they look at what I wear everyday and scrutinize my cleavage. Also, I feel like I am being discriminated against for being a "big girl." I HATE to throw that out there, but when someone actually says, "it would be okay if you were flat-chested," then that, to me, sounds like I am being singled out because I am endowed with large breasts. I even had the same coordinator tell me that I was the reason that one of our mentally disabled students was unable to focus; he was distracted by my chest.

So, here's me in my dress yesterday. Tell me what you think. I'll listen, I promise.
Peace Out,
Mom

When assaulted with feelings of desperate unworthiness, and when I feel like I can't do a single thing right, I yearn for the times when I am home, and my children think I am the smartest, prettiest, most capable person they have ever met. Sometimes I really just need to be home.

My Oldest started football practice in July. Saturday was his first game, and to be honest, I was a little nervous. He played receiver, and although the ball was never passed to him, he was still involved in much of the game. I noticed that my mom was turning his head when it even looked like he was going to be involved in a tackle. I was trying to be brave and supportive, but GEEZ! I would much rather he play the piano or something. He's really very good at it, and he looks so handsome in his football gear. I'm just being silly, really. They lost the first game, which was hard on them since they had won all of their scrimmages, but it was good to get that first game under his belt. I'll post pictures later...I'm at work now without the camera!
Peace Out,
Mom

All of these jobs, school, and family are slowly killing me. I'm just so tired. I really thought I was strong enough to do all of this, but perhaps I'm a bit too old for this. I'm tired of complaining about being tired. I miss my kids. This isn't fun. I know that it is temporary, so that is maybe what is keeping me going. And my big scary mortgage staring me in the face. And these boys eating more the older they get. Whatever. I'm just tired.
Peace Out,
Mom

My little man started daycare last week. It really is heart-wrenching for me! At first, he really wanted to go, and he wanted me to leave him there. However, now he cries because he doesn't want to go. We wake up very early, and God knows he is not an early morning kind of guy! So, he starts off the day in a foul mood. By the time we get there, he has told me about 45 times that he doesn't want to go. He also says really heart breaking things like "why do you want to leave me momma?" and "Will you miss me all day?" Geez, talk about a guilt trip. Believe me, I would MUCH rather be with him!! He is the first of my children to go to daycare, and I'm really torn up about it. I don't like it at all. The facility is fantastic, and the teachers are wonderful, but I would just rather be with him, you know??? So how long will this protest last??? Will there come a time where he just goes to daycare without all of the fuss? Oh my, this is going to be interesting.
Peace Out,
Mom

I got my new D.ell computer in the mail today. No, I did not go the M.ac route. I found what I needed in this inexpensive laptop and I am very pleased. I don't need it for anything fancy; I just need it for school and work. I finally figured out how to get it hooked up to our wireless Internet. My husband thought he was being safe when he set up our wireless Internet service at home with a password he could never, ever remember. Cute. It took me forever to figure out how to access our stuff!!! Getting older does some interesting things to your memory. Anyway, even though I have many jobs, a few classes, and some ornery boys, I'm hoping this will help me out some. Tomorrow, I will post about my little man's first day of day care. I almost threw up...really.
Peace Out,
Mom

A new semester is starting next week.
I applied for a new job and I am impatiently awaiting news.
I was offered a fourth job, and I am going to take it.
Little man starts all-day daycare next week and I am very nervous.
I am going to Legoland tomorrow with little man and a friend.
Peace Out,
Mom