Not-So-Normal Mom

I'm happy. There is peace in my life, even though there is so much going on. I read my profile and I realized that it sounds like I don't have any free time or family time. Not true. I work only about 30-35 hours per week. I am fortunate in that my kids are not in day care, and are taken care of by my husband and I. I have had quite a few people ask me lately when I am going to put my youngest in day care, implying that he is required to be in day care. I don't plan on it. I don't chastise those who have chosen that option. I also realize that for some, it is necessary in their lives. Not so for us. This is what works for us. Please don't tell me that it is necessary for my child's development for him to be around other children and learn from them. It will be time for Kindergarten soon enough. He is always around other children, and is quite sociable. I'm not worried, and you shouldn't worry, either. He'll be fine. Better than fine, actually. I've even heard people say how bright he is and that I should put him in school sooner to expand his education. People don't even consider that it might be a reflection of how much time we spend with him. Could it possibly be that he is so bright because of us? Oh no, of course not!;-)
Life is good, really.
Peace out,
Mom

We got the house!!!!! Well, it's a condo, but we will still own it!! Here are a couple of pictures(The furniture is not ours) We are stressing a bit about the mortgage because it is over twice as much as our rent, but we are determined. I picked up a night job which I don't really like, but I feel like it's necessary. I don't mind working, especially when it will help us out. So now, it's time for me to say good-bye to all of my frivilous shopping habits and expensive food. Here comes shopping with coupons and watching sales. Good-bye to impulse trips to San Francisco and Vegas. I'll miss you. Good bye to year passes to the San Diego zoo and tri-yearly trips to Disneyland. Hello to free museum days at Balboa Park and trips to the beach. Hello to picnics in the park and swimming at the community pool. Hello to nightly walks and more time spent with friends and family. The boys will get to ride their bikes outside and walk to their grandparents' house. They also are in the best schools in the district and I couldn't be happier about that!!!! Well, I guess it doesn't sound too bad after all.
Peace out, Mom

Yesterday, we did it. We put in two offers on condos in the same area. I'm so nervous. They have three days to respond, but since tomorrow is a holiday, it could be Thursday before we know anything! ARGH! I am so excited at the prospect of owning our own home. I am sick of this sh!t hole that we live in. I hate that our kids can't ride their bikes, skateboard, or roller blade. I hate that our neighbors blare music at 7:30 in the morning on a Sunday when you really want to sleep in! We will live within walking distance of the elementary school, and MO will be able to go to the middle school and high school that we want him to go to! No more inter-district transfers! Yeah! This is one of the most stressful things that we have ever done. What was weird is that, after we put the offers in, a lot of that stress went away. We had all the information, made a good decision, and handed it over. It felt good. Hopefully, it won't get stressful again. (Yeah right, when we get that first mortgage payment, we may weep!)
Peace out,
Mom

I've always honored my dad on Father's Day, and I think that it's important to acknowledge what he did/does to make me the person I am today. I really do think my dad is a great guy... We had our issues when I was growing up, but that was normal teenager crap. When I was a grown woman and had to move home to escape a horrible marriage, he and my mom took us in. He provided the role model that my sons needed. He showed them that not all men scream and hit. He showed them that some men even did dishes and changed diapers. They even hug, nuzzle, and kiss! He is smart, funny, caring, and loving. All of that together equals one wonderfully sarcastic, witty man!
When he walked me down the aisle on my wedding day, he put me at ease with his sense of humor that I admire so much. That's one trait that I admire in myself...He taught me that through it all, we have the ability to laugh. Whatever is thrown our way, there is always something to laugh about, and something to look forward to.
He has always been good to my mom, and because of that, I realized what I wanted in my marriage. They always hold hands and kiss, and I know that he would rather spend his time with her than with anyone else. I will never forget the time that she needed him most; when her mom died. He was out on a ship in the middle of the ocean and was sent home on a helicopter to be with her. She had been in her room all morning, and when he came home, my sister and I were sitting on the couch in the livingroom. After talking to us for a few minutes and telling us about when his grandfather died and how he felt, he asked where my mom was. We told him, and he headed down the hallway to their room. When he stepped in the room and closed the door, I heard my mom cry. It was a raw, heartbroken cry, and I could tell that she waited for him to come home so that he could comfort and protect her. That's when I really knew what the love between a husband and a wife was supposed to feel like.
When I first got in a relationship with my husband, my dad was leery. He was worried that this man wasn't good enough. Not only for me, but for the grandsons that he loved so much. Over the years, he has sized him up, spent time with him, and eventually gave him his stamp of approval. How do I know this? Well, he lets him eat his steak. He even buys dinner when we all go out once in a while. They sit next to each other on the couch and exchange jokes. They laugh together, and they keep up with each other's wit. That's important in our family! My dad supports our marriage and loves our sons. He is everything that we could ask for in a father, father-in-law, and grandfather. So, Happy Father's Day, Daddy. You are really appreciated and loved.

So much is happening, and it seems I have few free moments.  I have been writing so much for class that I don’t have any time to write on here!
Finally, the semester is over, and today will be my last day of work for a few weeks which is nice, if it weren’t for the fact that I could use the money.  Hopefully, I will be getting a night job soon so that I can continue on in the manner that I have grown accustomed to!
My oldest son will be graduating from 6th grade in a couple of weeks, and I am feeling really old.  The last few years have really pushed me into that middle age bracket, and I don’t know how I feel about that!  I still have friends that are quite young, and some of my friends my age don’t even have any kids.  Sometimes I get a little jealous, especially when they tell me about dodge ball games, softball, paddling, improv theatre, independent film outings, nights out watching a band play, and trips to Vegas.  Sometimes I wish I had done some of that before rushing into the mommy role.  Then sometimes, I look at them and I forget about all that and enjoy our outings together.  I enjoy the camping trips, Disneyland, trips to the zoo, and Disney movie nights.  I love when they kiss me on the cheek before bedtime.  And I swell with pride when I look at my sons and sometimes see a glimpse of the men they are becoming.  I have liberal views on politics, I believe in the power of women, I hope for the future of our country while realizing it’s going to take a lot of work, pray for the men who are fighting a war that has been going on for hundreds of years, and hope that I’ll be able to change just a little corner of the world.  All of this, I’m passing onto them, and that gives me such great joy.  Those are the times when I don’t forget about my age, but I do realize that I just don’t care as much.

This is the reason he should have won...because he can sing, ya'll!!!! I have heard from people that saw him live at AI that he was the best performer with the best voice. They say it is oh-so-powerful live! Poor guy didn't look hot enough, so he got booted!:-(
Anyway, enjoy

Am I about to win the Mother of the Year Award or what???? I have a mountain of essays to write, and a presentation to get together for work, and I am spending countless hours staring at the computer and neglecting my little Bubba. So, he is alternating between Dora the Explorer and playing cars(which he loves). I sing to him and get up every once in a while to kiss and hug him, but I know that's not enough. I've decided I'm going to really buckle down and do all this work when I don't want to, so I can get it done soon and focus on other things. I think I am focusing on so many other things and not really concentrating...so, that's what I'm going to work on!!!!! Argh!!!! I should just take my own advice and not watch Medium tonight, or read that really good novel that I like....I should just focus on boring old American History and get these essays done!!! Also, my birthday is this Saturday and we're trying to buy a house, so I have a little stress build-up, ya know?????? Back to work...
Peace Out, Mom
BTW....I got Bubba to say "peace out", but he says, "A-peace out":-)

So, we are trying to buy a new house. Right now we rent a three bedroom apartment, but we would really like to own our own home. It is not too easy a feat in this southern California market where the median home price is around 650k. We are waiting on the loan approval, and we have already started to look at homes, mostly four bedroom condos. I'm starting to stress a bit. It is exciting...I like the thought of painting walls and designing the interior of a home, but the money aspect is a little overwhelming. The kids are excited, mostly because they want a dog. I hope NH and I can make it through all this without killing each other!
On a different note...I am teaching a workshop next week at the college, and I am stressing out about that also. I also have a 20 page story, and eight page research paper and three essays due by next week. Good God, what am I thinking????? I would really like to go to Earth Day this weekend at Balboa Park to unwind(I almost typed rewind:-) We'll see how everything's going!!!!
*skips off to write papers*
Peace Out,
Mom

Here is the pack at the San Diego Zoo. We had a great time. It's amazing how so many kids with so many different personalities can mesh so well. I enjoy having them all together, and at the end of the day, I don't want to kill any of them! I always tell people, going from one child to two is the hardest. Once you figure that out, the rest is gravy. Especially when there are this many of them. They tend to travel in a pack and look out for each other. Really, it's a blast and I enjoy every one of them.
Peace Out,
Mom

Just a sample of the new pictures that I added to the Flickr thingy on the right. We went fishing last week with our friends and we caught the jackpot fish! It was a pretty big Salmon Grouper!! We had a great time and only two of our ten-person party got sick. Not too bad. Everyone got a chance to reel in a fish except for my lovely friend who was doing her duty to watch over her children. She helped them reel them in, but never caught one on her own. Maybe next time! I love this picture of my NH and my MS. They look adorable!

I tried to put this cool evil thingy on my blog and it jacked everything up. So, I changed over to this look! Waddya think? I'm still trying to stay ahead on my homework, which is a chore. My kids went on vacation Friday which means we are going to be spending three glorious weeks together. Yeah. Hopefully, we'll be able to come up with some cool things to do. Right now, we're just being lazy. Tomorrow, we're going fishing with our friends. It should be fun!! I'll post pictures tomorrow! Random thoughts...

Trying to take too many classes...Kids working on projects...Working...Conferences...Cousin's quincenera...Fishing on Sunday...Last week was Randy's 12th birthday...Good God, I'm the mother of a tween...Took four 11-12 year old boys to the movies and dinner on Saturday and wanted to die...Maybe I can write more tomorrow...
Peace out,
Mom

I am making my way through the classic authors... I have read so much in my life that was just for fun, and also some stuff that was required reading. However, I have never really branched out to read authors that are legendary. I read Matthew Lewis' The Monk, and Jane Austin's Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice. I just picked up James Joyce's Dubliners, and John Steinbeck's The Winter of our Discontent. I decided that I shouldn't just read good books, I should read GREAT books. I also just finished Double Indemnity and The Grifters, both of which were required reading. Anyway...I am enjoying all of them. (Except Sense and Sensibility...OMG, it was killing me to finish that book. It was soooo proper. It made me crazy!)

Anyway...I have so much more time for myself and my family now that I'm not spending time with my sister. I knew that she demanded a lot of my time, but I didn't realize just how much. I actually have time to do my homework, and have time with my husband. I'm going out with my friend tonight to watch Brokeback Mountain in Hillcrest, and we're going out to dinner beforehand. Yeah! Grown-up time!!!! It's quite refreshing, and honestly, very nice...

Today, I am playing along with The Kept Woman(click the title to see her harrowing escape from a semi), and posting my experience with breaking the law.

I was mostly a good girl until I turned 18, then I discovered sex. That was fun. Then, I met the loser who I eventually married and later divorced. When I met him, he was living on the streets. I, being the good girl from a white bread family, thought it was wicked cool to live in hotels. So, I left the comforts of my home to hang around with him and his friends.

Eventually, we all ran out of money and had nowhere to go (yes, I could have gone home, but I was stupid). We started to stay in vacant houses. Houses for sale, rent, whatever. We never made a mess or anything, but we broke in after dark, and basically squatted there until the next morning. We also stayed in motor homes that were housed in a big lot by my house. There, we found canned goods that we did partake in. (I feel bad that they may have later gone camping thinking they were prepared, and then realized we ate all their chili.) There were many narrow escapes from homeowners, and stories about sliding down second story overhangs, but basically, it was all pretty stupid. That was my big crime spree. I eventually went home. Pregnant.

So that's it. If any of you want to remind me of other things I've done, feel free.

I'm taking a human sexuality class online. I needed an extra "A" to boost my GPA, and I thought this was the road that I could take to that A. No problem there. I have three kids, I know a little about sex. The problem is, all these morons that I am taking the class with. People are still really close-minded and sheltered. People are opposed to so many types of liberal behaviors, that I am astonished that this is a class that I am taking in San Diego. I am assuming that they are all still very young, or that they are very old and hold onto archaic beliefs. Someone actually said that if her daughter "ended up gay", she would try to "educate it out of her"! I mean, really. This is really an eye-opening class. Not because I'm learning anything from the material, but because I am learning things about my classmates. It's really very disturbing.

I know the title is shocking, but I am soooo mad at her that I can't even stand to be around her. The other night, she called me on my cell while I was at the grocery store and asked me if I wanted to pick her up at the college and take her home. I had ordered something from one of her customers, and she had it, so I could get my stuff and drop her off. No big deal. I had my oldest in the car(reluctantly-he hates going places with me now, he's way too mature and cool). When I picked her up, she started talking about the guys she was meeting on EHarmony. I'm glad she's doing it, she needs to meet somebody.

Everybody needs Somebody, sometime... I digress.

Anyway, I noticed something as she was talking. I interrupted and asked her,
"Did you make one of your qualifications 'only white men'?"

She applied in the affirmative, and from there, we launched into a huge fight!

Racist!

She says she doesn't find herself attracted to anyone other than white men.

To that, I gave her a list of men she was attracted to that were indeed, not white.

She says they were only exceptions to the rule. She compared not liking "darker" men to not liking short men.

Logistics! I shouted.

How can you not like a man because of the color of his skin? You are really limiting yourself, especially in San Diego! I said.

You're just saying that because you're married to a black man! She spat.

Yeah, that's my goal...To get every white woman I know married to a black man. *dripping with sarcasm* Stupid!

I basically threw her out of my car at my parent's house, and I haven't felt the same about her since. I don't want to be around her. I am totally disgusted, and I can't believe someone that close to me is so close-minded!

My oldest was really paying attention to the argument, and I could tell it really bothered him. After she got out, he said..."I don't want to only date one color of girls. I have already liked all different girls."

At least someone is listening to me...

Yeah!!!! We went to San Francisco! We had such a great time! We took my sister with us because she had never been, and she adds a bit of fun to our travels. I finally got smart and bought our Alcatraz tickets online a couple of days before we went. They were always sold out when we had gone before. It was awesome! It was so interesting. Alcatraz really is a beautiful island, despite what it had been used for. It was very educational, with that fun element of crime and danger.:-) We also ate dim sum in China Town, went to look at the redwoods in Muir Woods, and hung out at Pier 39. We stayed in a real nice Marriott Residence Inn in San Mateo. It had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a full kitchen(with a dishwasher). It was very nice, and it was plenty of room for all of us. Some people don't like to road trip eight hours, but it really works for us. The kids are pretty good in the car, except for the fact that they ask for a snack every 15 minutes. I think next time, I'll pack them their own, individual coolers! Wow, that's a good idea... Anyway, I'm back at home, with a lot of cleaning, homework, and laundry to do. I better get to it. (Click on the title to get to the Alcatraz home page-it's pretty interesting!)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!! I love Valentine's Day!!! I wear pink and put my heart earrings on, and I am so in love! I went to my hubby's business and hung home made valentines from the roof. They were so cute, they had pictures of he and I together. He was so surprised! I made the boys valentine's, too! I want them to always feel loved. I am so excited right now because we are seriously talking about taking an impromptu drive to San Francisco this weekend. WOO HOO!!!! I hope it pans out!

My big man is off to 6th grade camp. A whole week without his mommy. How will he ever survive???? My middle son is so happy. I'm sure it will be a quiet week. I don't really know what to do without him. I took him out Sat night. Just he and I. It was nice. He is such a good boy when you get him alone. It's when he has an audience that he really gets revved up. We went to an improv show and then out to dinner. I introduced him to Thai food. I'm not really sire that he liked it, but he said he did! (Next time, I'll take him out for pizza or burgers) Anyway, I'm gonna help my middle boy with homework, so I'll write more about my anxieties later!

We got a call last night that one of our friends, a brilliant professor and a wonderful man, died on Sunday. He was playing golf and had an aneurysm. I have been crying off and on since I heard the news. I know some of you may think I am an awful human being for saying this, but I can think of quite a few people I would rather see go than him. He was an excellent professor who always had time for his students. He was a rare professor in that he had a sincere love of learning and educating. When he saw me, he always paused to give me a scruffy kiss on the cheek, and always told me that I was beautiful. He was a good man. I am genuinely sorry that he has passed. My husband and I were talking about him last night, and we were laughing about the times when they were playing softball, and he would get so fired up that he would yell at the umpire and get kicked out of the game. It was his fiery Irish temper. Ahhh, Doctor Callahan. After firing off a steady stream of obscenities, he would walk by me as I watched the game and apologize for cursing in front of the kids. I actually found it amusing, and so did the boys. I also found it endearing that he apologized.
You know that song by Billy Joel, "Only the Good Die Young"? It's been stuck in my head since last night. I know that it's not true, that it's not just the good that die young, and that sometimes the good live to ripe old ages. I just can't help but think that it's a shame when people that have something to offer mankind, or at least our little corner of mankind, die and leave a hole in our hearts and in our minds. He made people think. He sometimes made people angry, but that's what opinionated people do. That's why I liked him.
I have said over the years that the reason why people cry when someone dies is because we are sad for ourselves. They have gone on to a beautiful place, and we miss them. We cry because we want them in our lives. This time, I am thinking that I am not only crying for myself, I am crying for all of his students, and all of the people that he could have influenced to love English and Literature. He had a lot more to give, and that's what makes me sad.
That's what makes me question the Universe. It seems that someone else could have gone in his place, and things would run a little smoother down here, ya know?