Not-So-Normal Mom

I am making my way through the classic authors... I have read so much in my life that was just for fun, and also some stuff that was required reading. However, I have never really branched out to read authors that are legendary. I read Matthew Lewis' The Monk, and Jane Austin's Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice. I just picked up James Joyce's Dubliners, and John Steinbeck's The Winter of our Discontent. I decided that I shouldn't just read good books, I should read GREAT books. I also just finished Double Indemnity and The Grifters, both of which were required reading. Anyway...I am enjoying all of them. (Except Sense and Sensibility...OMG, it was killing me to finish that book. It was soooo proper. It made me crazy!)

Anyway...I have so much more time for myself and my family now that I'm not spending time with my sister. I knew that she demanded a lot of my time, but I didn't realize just how much. I actually have time to do my homework, and have time with my husband. I'm going out with my friend tonight to watch Brokeback Mountain in Hillcrest, and we're going out to dinner beforehand. Yeah! Grown-up time!!!! It's quite refreshing, and honestly, very nice...

Today, I am playing along with The Kept Woman(click the title to see her harrowing escape from a semi), and posting my experience with breaking the law.

I was mostly a good girl until I turned 18, then I discovered sex. That was fun. Then, I met the loser who I eventually married and later divorced. When I met him, he was living on the streets. I, being the good girl from a white bread family, thought it was wicked cool to live in hotels. So, I left the comforts of my home to hang around with him and his friends.

Eventually, we all ran out of money and had nowhere to go (yes, I could have gone home, but I was stupid). We started to stay in vacant houses. Houses for sale, rent, whatever. We never made a mess or anything, but we broke in after dark, and basically squatted there until the next morning. We also stayed in motor homes that were housed in a big lot by my house. There, we found canned goods that we did partake in. (I feel bad that they may have later gone camping thinking they were prepared, and then realized we ate all their chili.) There were many narrow escapes from homeowners, and stories about sliding down second story overhangs, but basically, it was all pretty stupid. That was my big crime spree. I eventually went home. Pregnant.

So that's it. If any of you want to remind me of other things I've done, feel free.

I'm taking a human sexuality class online. I needed an extra "A" to boost my GPA, and I thought this was the road that I could take to that A. No problem there. I have three kids, I know a little about sex. The problem is, all these morons that I am taking the class with. People are still really close-minded and sheltered. People are opposed to so many types of liberal behaviors, that I am astonished that this is a class that I am taking in San Diego. I am assuming that they are all still very young, or that they are very old and hold onto archaic beliefs. Someone actually said that if her daughter "ended up gay", she would try to "educate it out of her"! I mean, really. This is really an eye-opening class. Not because I'm learning anything from the material, but because I am learning things about my classmates. It's really very disturbing.

I know the title is shocking, but I am soooo mad at her that I can't even stand to be around her. The other night, she called me on my cell while I was at the grocery store and asked me if I wanted to pick her up at the college and take her home. I had ordered something from one of her customers, and she had it, so I could get my stuff and drop her off. No big deal. I had my oldest in the car(reluctantly-he hates going places with me now, he's way too mature and cool). When I picked her up, she started talking about the guys she was meeting on EHarmony. I'm glad she's doing it, she needs to meet somebody.

Everybody needs Somebody, sometime... I digress.

Anyway, I noticed something as she was talking. I interrupted and asked her,
"Did you make one of your qualifications 'only white men'?"

She applied in the affirmative, and from there, we launched into a huge fight!

Racist!

She says she doesn't find herself attracted to anyone other than white men.

To that, I gave her a list of men she was attracted to that were indeed, not white.

She says they were only exceptions to the rule. She compared not liking "darker" men to not liking short men.

Logistics! I shouted.

How can you not like a man because of the color of his skin? You are really limiting yourself, especially in San Diego! I said.

You're just saying that because you're married to a black man! She spat.

Yeah, that's my goal...To get every white woman I know married to a black man. *dripping with sarcasm* Stupid!

I basically threw her out of my car at my parent's house, and I haven't felt the same about her since. I don't want to be around her. I am totally disgusted, and I can't believe someone that close to me is so close-minded!

My oldest was really paying attention to the argument, and I could tell it really bothered him. After she got out, he said..."I don't want to only date one color of girls. I have already liked all different girls."

At least someone is listening to me...

Yeah!!!! We went to San Francisco! We had such a great time! We took my sister with us because she had never been, and she adds a bit of fun to our travels. I finally got smart and bought our Alcatraz tickets online a couple of days before we went. They were always sold out when we had gone before. It was awesome! It was so interesting. Alcatraz really is a beautiful island, despite what it had been used for. It was very educational, with that fun element of crime and danger.:-) We also ate dim sum in China Town, went to look at the redwoods in Muir Woods, and hung out at Pier 39. We stayed in a real nice Marriott Residence Inn in San Mateo. It had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a full kitchen(with a dishwasher). It was very nice, and it was plenty of room for all of us. Some people don't like to road trip eight hours, but it really works for us. The kids are pretty good in the car, except for the fact that they ask for a snack every 15 minutes. I think next time, I'll pack them their own, individual coolers! Wow, that's a good idea... Anyway, I'm back at home, with a lot of cleaning, homework, and laundry to do. I better get to it. (Click on the title to get to the Alcatraz home page-it's pretty interesting!)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!! I love Valentine's Day!!! I wear pink and put my heart earrings on, and I am so in love! I went to my hubby's business and hung home made valentines from the roof. They were so cute, they had pictures of he and I together. He was so surprised! I made the boys valentine's, too! I want them to always feel loved. I am so excited right now because we are seriously talking about taking an impromptu drive to San Francisco this weekend. WOO HOO!!!! I hope it pans out!

My big man is off to 6th grade camp. A whole week without his mommy. How will he ever survive???? My middle son is so happy. I'm sure it will be a quiet week. I don't really know what to do without him. I took him out Sat night. Just he and I. It was nice. He is such a good boy when you get him alone. It's when he has an audience that he really gets revved up. We went to an improv show and then out to dinner. I introduced him to Thai food. I'm not really sire that he liked it, but he said he did! (Next time, I'll take him out for pizza or burgers) Anyway, I'm gonna help my middle boy with homework, so I'll write more about my anxieties later!

We got a call last night that one of our friends, a brilliant professor and a wonderful man, died on Sunday. He was playing golf and had an aneurysm. I have been crying off and on since I heard the news. I know some of you may think I am an awful human being for saying this, but I can think of quite a few people I would rather see go than him. He was an excellent professor who always had time for his students. He was a rare professor in that he had a sincere love of learning and educating. When he saw me, he always paused to give me a scruffy kiss on the cheek, and always told me that I was beautiful. He was a good man. I am genuinely sorry that he has passed. My husband and I were talking about him last night, and we were laughing about the times when they were playing softball, and he would get so fired up that he would yell at the umpire and get kicked out of the game. It was his fiery Irish temper. Ahhh, Doctor Callahan. After firing off a steady stream of obscenities, he would walk by me as I watched the game and apologize for cursing in front of the kids. I actually found it amusing, and so did the boys. I also found it endearing that he apologized.
You know that song by Billy Joel, "Only the Good Die Young"? It's been stuck in my head since last night. I know that it's not true, that it's not just the good that die young, and that sometimes the good live to ripe old ages. I just can't help but think that it's a shame when people that have something to offer mankind, or at least our little corner of mankind, die and leave a hole in our hearts and in our minds. He made people think. He sometimes made people angry, but that's what opinionated people do. That's why I liked him.
I have said over the years that the reason why people cry when someone dies is because we are sad for ourselves. They have gone on to a beautiful place, and we miss them. We cry because we want them in our lives. This time, I am thinking that I am not only crying for myself, I am crying for all of his students, and all of the people that he could have influenced to love English and Literature. He had a lot more to give, and that's what makes me sad.
That's what makes me question the Universe. It seems that someone else could have gone in his place, and things would run a little smoother down here, ya know?

Yesterday, my husband went to the doctor for a regular visit to ask him about a cough that has been around for about a month. The appointment was at 3:30. At five, he called me to tell me that the doctor was advising him to go to the emergency room because he had an irregular heartbeat that was causing him concern. I threw the kids in the mommy wagon and drove them to my parents so that I could be with him in the emergency room.
Was I worried?
Hell yes, I was worried. My man, my love, the strongest man I know was having heart problems?
Soon after I arrived, we were called to the back. They hooked up an IV, stuck heart monitors to his chest, put a blood pressure monitor on his arm, an oxygen indicator on his finger, and put an oxygen tube under his nose.
What in the hell?
Here was my rock, MY stability, hooked up to a bunch of monitors. I promise you, I did not think any less of him, I just sat there hurting for him. He hadn't been in a hospital since he had his tonsils out as a child. He believes himself to be Superman, who the hell was the doctor to tell him otherwise?
We were able to go home many hours later. They said his blood pressure was pretty high, and he has to see a cardiologist. They gave him a bunch of pills, but not many answers.
Am I worried? A little. This is just a big wake-up for us. It's time to stop eating like we have the metabolisms of 19 year olds. It's time to get off our asses and exercise. He needs to take more vacations from work. God, what a night to make resolutions.
I wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year. Hug your family and friends extra tight, I know I will.

The kids are on vacation, and we are spending lots of time together. I have my friends kids today and tomorrow because she is a NICU nurse, and she works overnight. I try to help out when our kids are on vacation so she can get some sleep during the day. Today, I was driving all six of the kids to the park which isn't far from our house. I was still in the process of loading them up in the mommy van when MO(my oldest) shouted from the backseat, "Mom!! What's a blow job?" WHAT???!!!?!??!?!
I said, "Where did you hear that??"
Now I know some of you are thinking that he heard it from my NH or I, but I assure you, we are very adept at using code words for bedroom activities.
I must also point out that the six kids I had were: 2 eleven year old boys, a nine year old boy, twin seven year olds(boy and girl), and my little Bubba who is two.
So, they all heard MO yell "Blow Job" at the top of his lungs and were eagerly awaiting my response.
He says he heard it on channel 48, which here is Comedy Central. I don't know if he is telling the truth, or what the hell he was watching, or where the hell I was when he heard this wonderful phrase, but I guess I have to play with the parental controls on the TV in the play room now. They didn't used to be interested in anything other than Nickelodeon or cartoon Network, but I guess things change.
OY VEY!
So, I gave him the "We'll talk about this later" answer, and I am eagerly awaiting that talk, let me tell you.
CRAP! Sometimes parenting really hurts.

The trip wasn't so bad. I had a bit of trouble remembering to call everyone by their appropriate title. (Uncle so-and-so, aunt so-and-so, Mr and Mrs.) I'm used to being much more relaxed with our names. I still don't know what to call my mother in law. I called her Mrs.____ the whole time I was there, and I slipped once and called her by her first name, and I was reprimanded. So, I guess that's it, just Mrs. ___. Oh well, one day I'll get it right.
Everything is going okay here. I'm running around trying to get Christmas shopping done, and make sure the kids are all taken care of. I was just informed that the school will be closed for the break for over a month, which means I will be out of work for about 6 weeks. Ouch. Maybe I will be productive and get all my mundane things done at once. You know...doctor's visits, dentists, things of that nature. Exciting. Maybe my house will even be clean!
Tomorrow, we are going to Disneyland!!!!!! I am soooooo excited! My NH won't be joining us because work will not permit it, but the rest of my family is going.(kids, my sis, and my parents) I will be taking the kids out of school for the day. They don't know yet, it's a surprise. I hope they're going to be happy!!! Anyway, life is back to normal. I have a busy schedule for the next week, then nothing....Maybe I can blog more.
Peace out,
Mom

I'm leaving tonight for New Jersey! I'm a little nervous, but I think I'm prepared. I hope the kids behave themselves. I hope I get some sleep on the plane, and most important, I hope I don't say anything stupid to my in-laws. That's so hard for me! I have a problem with speaking before I think. I have a tendency to speak with my emotions rather than my brain. Oh well, I'll be sure to post about my trip. Oh, and I can't wait to see the Liberty Bell! I'm so excited about all the American history that you can take in on the East coast. Maybe next year, we can go to New York. Maybe I'll get a chance to bond with my in-laws and this will be a life-changing experience for me. Yeah right, I'm just hoping I make it out alive.

I know my day is not starting off well when I hear these two phrases before eight am:

"Mom!!!! He keeps sneezing on me!!!!!"

and

"EEEWWWWW, gross!!!! Mom!!!!! He licked the Q-tip with earwax on it!!!!"

I really did want girls.

Something is bothering me. I was driving behind a huge construction truck today, and there was a small sign on the back that said "Not responsible for windshield damage. Stay back 200 feet" This sign was maybe one foot by one foot big. There is no way you could even see that sign from 200 feet away. Are you kidding me? I promise you, if something flew out of that truck and hit my windshield and caused a crack, you would be so responsible!!!!!

It's nice. Even though I feel a heavy head cold coming on, life is alright. The boys make me a little crazy sometimes. So much so that I sent them to bed at 8 last night, but life is mostly good. I am smiling. My mom went to the doctor yesterday and is a little worried about her tests, but I am sure (I can feel it in my heart) that it's nothing. I am confident. I am relaxing a bit. I am not too stressed out, I haven't had a homicidal thought in a couple of days, so life is good. I hope this lasts.

My oh my, yesterday was a challenge for me!!!!!
First, I took my big boys to school, and then I went home to shower and give the little man a bath.  I told my mom that I would pick her up at work at 1, and I was going to get there a little early so that I could shop for a coat for my NJ trip(I’m sure it will be quite cold while we are there).  So, I hurried out the door…I grabbed my purse, the diaper bag, a cup of juice for little man, a toy car, Bubba’s hand, and I turned the lock on the door.  I walked out, and shut the door behind me…Thereby locking my keys in my apartment.  CRAP!  Okay, the maintenance man is at lunch, the (new) manager’s office is closed.  Oh Crap!  I have to go to her house.  We just got a new manager two weeks ago, and I am not keen on introducing myself by asking for the key to my apartment.  Oh well, you do what you have to do, right?  I went over and knocked on her apartment door, and it went something like this:
*door opens* hi, I’m NSNM, I live over there, and I totally locked my keys in my apartment.  Do you think you could let me in?
Her:  Well, it’s my lunch break.
Me:  *pausing, dumbfounded*  Okaaaay, but could you please just let me in, I’d really appreciate it.  I’m sorry to bother you at home.
Her:  Yeah okay, give me a few minutes.
Me:  Okay, thanks.  
I then take little man and sit on the steps for TEN MINUTES!!!!  Then, she comes out and walks to the office.  She sticks her head out and says:
Her:  I don’t have the key to your apartment.  You must have changed the locks.
Me:  No, We’ve never changed the locks.  I know there is a key in there, you guys have gotten in before with no problem.
Her:  I’ll look in one more place.
*Goes in the office again*
Her:  Nope, I don’t have it, when you get a copy made, you should bring it to the office so that I have a copy.
She then WALKED.INTO.HER.HOUSE.  And yes, I was standing outside dumbfounded!  Thanks for all your help BIZNITCH!  I had to pry open my window and shimmy in and over a bookshelf, and onto my dining room table.  I got my keys and left.  Oh, I am so writing a letter to property management!
Then, later on, I got my big boys from school, and we went home.  My middle son had a lot of homework, so I decided to bring him to work with me.  (I am tutoring at the College, he can sit and do his work and I can help him if I am not with a student.)  To make a long story short, he ended up spilling an entire 16 ounces of hot chocolate all over my coworkers SDSU homework.  I had to Xerox all of his work so that it was fresh and new, and not covered with sticky hot chocolate gooiness.  You have no idea how many times I apologized to my coworker!  (I must say that he was totally cool about it, even if he was steaming on the inside)
Then, at about 8pm, the boys are all rough housing.  I kept saying things like, “cut it out”, “someone’s going to get hurt!”, and “quiet!”.  Then, I heard screaming.  My oldest and my Bubba cracked heads!  It was the back of MO head vs. the front of Bubba’s head.  I totally freaked out!  It was a giant egg!!!!  I had to pin him down to apply ice, and then I was really starting to worry when Bubba was looking drowsy.  MO was totally fine, a little weepy, but fine.  The two oldest went to bed, mostly because I was freaked out and they were a little scared.  Needless to say, the baby is fine and I went to bed and ended “THE DAY FROM HELL!”

Oh, I am sooo tired! I am typing an essay that has turned out to be like seven pages long, and I am sooooo sick of it. I only have one more long paragraph to write, but I am now at the point in writing it where I don't care.
I just found out that Harry Potter comes out the week before we're in Jersey, so I'm happy about that. And, I was concerned that our trip would have no educational component, and I would be taking the kids out of school for pure frivolity, but now, I am hoping that we can at least go see the Liberty Bell. Then, my kids can take a picture in front of it to show their teachers. I think I'll be off the hook then. What do you think? (Click on the title to learn about the Liberty Bell)

I can't wait for the new Harry Potter movie to come out! It is a substitute to that hollow feeling I have, waiting on a new book. I visit the website every once in a while, and I'm getting very excited!!!! Click on the title to take you to the website!!! All of you can come with me! We can dress up! We can all go at midnight with the rest of the geeks. Oh God, what if I'm in New Jersey when it comes out?*GASP*

  
So, we’re going to New Jersey next month.  I am pretty excited about going because I have never been there before, and my NH’s family is there.  There are a few of them who couldn’t make it out for the wedding, and I would really like to get to know them.  I would also like for them to meet the boys and me, and for us all to get to know each other.  I’m pretty nervous, though.  I get this nervous chatter thing when I’m around them.  I am not normally the kind of person who tries to impress people, but on some level, I know that’s what I’m trying to do when I’m around them.  His parents took so long to warm up to me!  They had that whole religious block thing going on.  You know…we weren’t married, we had a baby, we were living together…  That’s why we waited until after the wedding to go out there.  If we had gone before we were married (even though Bubba was already born), they were going to make us sleep in separate rooms.  Although I appreciate the fact that it is their house, and their beliefs, we chose to wait until after we were married to visit them.  So, now is the time.  His sister wanted us to go out there for Christmas, but I just couldn’t do it.  I am afraid that they don’t really accept my older two boys completely.  I don’t want them to feel left out or shunned when our little guy gets all the attention and gifts.  So, I’m looking into the weather out there, and making sure we all have appropriate clothing to wear.  I can guarantee that we are going to have to get some warmer clothes.  It just doesn’t get that cold here in beautiful San Diego!!!!!  That’s all for now…time to get off my ass and clean something!!!
Peace Out,
Mom

I am enjoying my life, really.  I think I have a relatively fun time.  I wish I had more time and more money for travel.  That would make a difference, I’m sure.  I also wish I had a cleaning service to clean my house.  Just to free me up to do other things.  Like homework.  I’m really slacking with that stuff.  I also need to cook better meals for the kids.  I need to spend more time with my husband.  Maybe I should do some mid-year resolutions.  OOOh, maybe I should have a to-do list.  I think I’ll do that.  That way, I can check things off and feel productive.  I wish money would fall out of the sky and land in my lap.  Do you think that ever happens?  And if it did, would “they” let me keep it?  You know who they are, right?  I wish I had time to join a club.  Or start a club.  Maybe even hang out with my friends.  I wish all my friends and family lived in a little commune together.  We could have so much fun!  We would have great coffee, too.  I wish I had time to garden.  I wish I had some land to grow things.  I also want a house and a dog.  I also would like to be in a play one day.  I bet I could be a great actor.  I also want to write a book one day, and I want people to read it.  And I want it to change their lives.  That’s all for now.
Peace Out,
Mom